I'm not a Fantano, don't call me that. That actually wounds me, you know. Deeply. Say sorry. Say it harder. Softer. Hm... Actually, I don't like this. This thing between you and I-- This is awkward and weird. Damn. Leave me alone actually. Slayyyter's latest album is my AOTY, which is wild because of how much heat there's been this year but a part of me kind of knew it. I put off listening to this album for so long because I knew it would consume me and it did. For all the synthesisers in the world, this album is truly electric. Again, not Fantano, so just take loose thoughts and get out. The Tracklist DANCE... Oh my God. I'm on my knees whipping my hair in the artificial rain. This one is one of my favourites for how multi-faceted it is, it's a perfect opener, sets the mood perfectly, it's perfect. The build up at the start, the duh-duh duh-duh doh-doh, the little growl-y synth throughout the verses, the guitar riffs, the Daft Punk-ness of it all (especially in the second verse), the post-chorus. This track feels full. BEAT UP CHANEL$ This one fights for the top with DANCE... but this is another one where I love all of the song's arcs. The thudding across the verses feels like a march towards something and it commands others to follow suit, the first half of the chorus is especially infectious and then when the beat drops into the rest of it ugh. I don't know how to describe that synth like it's not a siren but it's weirdly contemplative, especially in the final chorus, which pairs really nicely with the explicit materialist desire in the lyrics. CANNIBALISM! This one is just a lot of fun. The dramatic laughs, the playful vocals (that shiver in "cold," oh my word), that bassline is nasty. I'm also biased towards the music video because I used to perform burlesque though I never got to dress up true showgirl style. This will happen. I also love cannibalism and the intersection between cannibalism and truly feminine, sexual desire. There is probably a video essay on this. OLD TECHNOLOGY A lot of these tracks feel timeless but I think this one evokes that feeling the most, at least for me. The pluckiness of it and Slayyyter's very specific vocal style actually remind me a lot of Cobrah. Then that riff in the chorus and the break feels like it's always been around, behind a drifting car or something. I can't shake that this sound has always been around and I do NOT want that to be taken as derogatory because it's the highest compliment. CRANK I'm quite surprised by how low this ended up ranking but that speaks to how I've enjoyed all every track. That bat sample is so fun, the CHANT (she knew "I get so gay off that tequila" was going to be generational), the slight melody change in the second verse, this one is so... Menacing... Grrr. Hit me. GAS STATION That background melody feels like a siren, there are space-y alien-y sounds, the lyrics are heart wrenching. Comments were not wrong, Crystal Castles could've played a part in this (not the heart wrenching part). I love a sad dance song. I LOVE IT. Louis Capaldi makes me vomit but god knows an EDM beat would not fix him but at least UK small town DJ's wouldn't have to FUCKING. REMIX HIM. WITH. FUCKING. WHATEVER. Putting a great deal of evil on the British dance scene but we are so much better than that. You are NEVER heading to Ibiza, let that dream die, stale man from bum-fuck nowhere. FUCK YOU. YES GODDD Not a lot to say, it's chic queer Daft Punk-metal, but imagine this is playing while I was typing out that rant. UNKNOWN LOVERZ The chorus was how my husband found out he could do a Kermit impression and I really, really want him. Anyway, a top comment read, "This song making me realize how much I actually want to live..." which is a good indicator of how Empire of the Sun this track behaves, even if it does thinly veil the sad call for love that never comes. OLD FLING$ We reach the point in the album where I've said almost all of my praises. I love the mood of this one, we come back to an addictive melody that becomes an echo in the chorus along with the aaa-aaah. I mentioned literal space sounds a few songs ago but this one actually feels like I'm floating under a strobe light, not in an abduction way but this is happening at night on a baseball pitch... But it's not an abduction. I need to make that very clear. I'M ACTUALLY KINDA FAMOUS This one doesn't do anything for me. $T. LOSER I love the little callbacks to songs like BEAT UP CHANEL$. It's also weird to hear a mention of St. Louis because Frost Children (I think? Can't remember) are also St. Losers and my husband's friend is a St. Loser not by birth but by degree (he touches rats)1. I didn't really care about St. Louis, I mean I don't still. Small world, is all. WHAT IS IT LIKE, TO BE LIKED? I completely understand how this could've been on Starfucker (the previous album). Compared to the other tracks, this one is quite minimalist but she's nailed the addictive melodies. BRITTANY MURPHY A really fun ending, the verses are pleasant on their own but then the chorus feels especially warm. Throughout the album we've had electric guitars, shrieks, sharp synths and now the amps have been picked up and hauled away one by one, there's an acoustic guitar and a campfire. This song does feel like a goodbye, a long hug and then a goodbye, a long hug and then a goodbye and then a walk and then a look back and they're not looking back and then the walk continues... Puckered lips. Final Ranking BEAT UP CHANEL$ DANCE... OLD TECHNOLOGY UNKNOWN LOVERZ GAS STATION BRITTANY MURPHY OLD FLING CANNIBALISM! CRANK WHAT IS IT LIKE, TO BE LIKED? YES GODDD ST. LOSER I'M ACTUALLY KINDA FAMOUS 1-3 is always shifting, as is 4-7. No opinion-based ranking is absolute. There are no absolutes. ONLY in CSS. Put that on a t-shirt, a really tight t-shirt for people with exposed mid riffs and pierced navels. Also something I noticed but I'm impartial to, Slayyyter loves to hit this one dance move throughout her videos. It's like she's dribbling a very big ball or perhaps two of them. I get it. We all have our signatures. Footnotes I don't know if I need to put this disclaimer here but, just in case, it is very important that I specify quite explicitly that this is for science.↩