Sorry for short posts By Shadowz 05/08/2026 - 10:00 AM 04/08/2026 Blaugust2026, Bloggers, MentalHealth Do journals count? I apologize for the short post yesterday, it was just I was mentally drained when I started writing it out, and by the end of it. I just couldn’t think anymore. With trying to help Blade get a new job, trying to make sure we have enough money to cover our bills, and so forth I am mentally drained a lot. Sadly though this will happen until he gets a new job because it’s weighing a lot on us both. His previous job did not take out enough taxes so he’s left with paying this massive amount to the IRS and we have to make sure his payment is there every month by the 20th. Granted it’s only $75.00 US a month, but still it’s a nice size chunk when you don’t have the money coming in other than my SSI. So for the time being I have had to redo my budget so I could include this payment monthly because I will not allow him to go to the Federal Pen because his job did not take enough money out. So we’re still job hunting for him, and because he didn’t get a degree in anything it’s hard for him to find a job that doesn’t require some kind of degree of sorts. He’s the type of guy that wants to be in think of it and doing things that require him to work in a stuffy office. He’d rather be out in the field doing backbreaking work and that is one of the best things I admire about him the most. He’s not afraid to get dirty and not afraid to do the work that most would flick their nose up towards. He has fork lift driving experience, warehouse experience, and is still willing to learn at 59 years old. It’s just frustrating for us because this should have never happened. So if my posts some days are shorter, it’s because mentally I’m spent at the moment, and trying to remain positive for him, while not losing my own shit over this whole ordeal. I’m up and down half the night, up early in the mornings , falling asleep at my PC all the while putting applications in for him online. Rearranging my budget to include everything we need, and what Raven needs. It is another reason I’m not being active on any social medias right now either, same with Discord. Right now I’m so frustrated with all this that I’m doing my best not to take it out on anyone, because they do not deserve my temper being the way it is at the moment with being extremely volatile. This was my first blog I grew up with the tail end of the analog era, so I guess you can say in that sense that I would be considered a Xennial, I grew up with the last of the analog era, and the beginning of the digital era. I remember Napster being the first platform that we could grab music off the internet. But since I spent a lot of time in and out of special programs for children who were labeled “Emotionally Disturbed”, “Hard to handle.” I was told to write down my day, thoughts, feelings, who I interacted with, how they made me feel, etc. All the BS they want to try to run a life they really know nothing about because they learned it in the books. Then as I became an adult, and I no longer decided to do anything of that sort again. So I didn’t have a blog until one day a friend convinced me that he could help me if he understood what I was going through in my head because it’s always a cluster fuck in my mind. So I did and still have a LiveJournal even though I no longer use it. I did have other WordPress sites, but after so many years I just walked away from it all. I didn’t feel the need to blog again until I found the NBI, and eventually lead into Blaugust, and I’m glad I stayed with it even though the month of August is when I post the most, while all the other months I tend to fall silent. Unless I find something I’m passionate about. I still refuse to really write my true feelings though because they have been used against me in the past, and now I just refuse to let anyone take any kind of trips into my mind. So I’m not sure if having a journal would be consider a blog since it was in the old fashion format of using a notebook with pens, and pencils. Related Discover more from Shadowz Abstract Gaming Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email. About Shadowz A woman who enjoys playing video games, and will blog about my experiences, but also record video game play for my YouTube channel. View all posts by Shadowz Bookmark the permalink.