Cheerful fumbling It’s a damp early morning, the house clearly recalls the past hot day better than the cooler night. I’m playing a four chord song on my piano: my voice leading is clunky, the rhythm is uneven, and I couldn’t be more pleased to spend five minutes like this, skill-taste gap be damned. Even though I’ve played piano and other instruments in the past, it feels like starting over again. They say that to be an expert at anything, you need to practice for 10.000 hours. Well, I’ve only got 599.995 more minutes to go then, how about that? I’ve been listening to music more often again recently: long covid won’t stop me!! Okay, it actually will stop me after a few songs, but it feels so good nonetheless. The music fills spaces inside me that had run so dry, I had completely forgotten they ever existed in the first place. It won’t heal me, but it is making me more whole. I’m fully in my Lizzy McAlpine era now. Has it made me melancholic, or do I turn to the music that fits my mood? I feel my emotions more intensely through music. Strangely, I don’t mind feeling a little sad sometimes. Life is about so much more than being happy all the time. There are just so many people in this world to be inspired by. It makes me feel so happy to be alive. Isn’t it wonderful when people share a part of themselves with the world through their Art? I can’t help but wonder at how creative and brave they must be. Please support the artists you admire, folks! I’d like to be able to make Art with a huge capital A as well. I’d like to play the piano the way the music feels in my heart. I wish for many things. I’d like to be fearless enough to sing confidently; to belt at the top of my voice. But you know what? I may not be able to go full speed, to find the right words, to strike the chord that resonates with my feeling. Still, I won’t let it stop me from trying. I refuse to surrender my joy of fumbling after ideals and cheerfully failing at it. Thank you for reading this via RSS! View this article on my website. Replies: E-mail / Fediverse / Webmention