Today, I'm 38. Thirty-seven was a year that was. It was a year of loss. I found out I was being laid off the day after my birthday. Nearly a year later, I lost my soul dog. Between those two losses (and a million other things), I feel like I lost a part of myself1. I've thought a lot about mortality this year. At least more so than I ever have before. The world lost a lot of good souls, too. Some I knew, some I knew from afar, and some I only came to know through the people who loved them. I found myself thinking about how much a life can mean, how love can exist for one soul, and how much is left behind when they’re gone. I think that’s part of what makes turning 38 feel a little different. I’m even more aware of time passing. Of how quickly another year can go by. Of how much can CHANGE in a year, without warning. I am hoping 38 will be the year of finding. Finding what exactly, I’m not entirely sure (yet). It feels too cliche to say I hope to find myself. I didn’t actually lose myself. I still know who I am (in some ways). It’s more that I lost a part of myself, and I think that’s a really important distinction to have. Maybe this year is about finding whatever it is that comes next. Perhaps it’s finding new parts of myself, or rediscovering old ones. Maybe it’s finding things that make life feel a little lighter -- so that I don’t feel like I am constantly holding the entire ocean in my chest. I really have no idea. I’m just making things up as I go along. I don’t really know what 38 will bring (but really, who does?) Right now, I’m just here. Another year older. Another year alive. And of course, to keep up with last year’s trend... 🏃‍♀️ Reflection aside I wanted to do a 38 mile ride, but I just ran out of time before work. So instead, I opted to just run 3.8 miles this morning, despite it supposedly being my rest day. Not my fastest run, but I'm being mindful of how much energy I exert during what is supposed to be a day of rest -- but also, I'm just slow in general. Previous years 37 and On Getting Older Another Lap Around the Sun Reply by email I know, I know. I told myself I wouldn't let work define me, but it cannot be helped.↩