Now, admittedly, this is going to be an even shorter post than usual. It’s also obviously going to be a bit on the personal side; a bit more LiveJournal than Substack. Also, boy do I hate how that sentence actually makes sense in my head. Basically, I wanted to share some candid thoughts on how I feel about Blaugust 10 days in now. So if you’re not into the vent-y or rant-ish posts, perhaps close the window. But I will say that, though I feel like I’m hitting the wall of attrition, I am feeling OK. Now OK is purely subjective, and that description also contains multitudes, but I’m applying it here to mean about middle-of-the-road, leaning a bit more toward tired. The past few days have been busy and full of activity. I’m feeling a bit derailed as a result, but also eager as well. If that makes any sense. Probably not. I am going to admit that not having some topics written down ahead of time is a bit of a downfall for me, but not insurmountable. Lesson learned, I suppose. And there’s certainly prompts from the Blaugust community I can follow if I like to, I just don’t like to. If I’m inspired by my fellow bloggers, I kind of want it to be spawned from my own brain. A stubborn admission, but at least I’m honest with myself and anyone who is reading this. I also will have to admit that I don’t feel any sort of major communal connection, but that’s primarily the fault of me being a lurker more than anything else. I don’t feel removed or pushed aside, but I also don’t feel extremely interwoven either. It’s fine. This is fine. Not everyone has to give me attention or head pats. If nothing else, this is at least becoming the crucible of time management that I was seeking at the very base level. I’m going to have to get better at handling time, dealing with exhaustion and poor sleep, and what continues to feel like the wear of aging more and more. But I’m sure I can do it. 10 days. I got this.