I really hate slow-rolling things. I like to work quickly, get task after task out of the way quickly and efficiently. At work, that means my numbers go higher, leads to me getting better raises, more access, more good stuff that I wouldn’t get to do otherwise. In my games, I like being able to chew through quests, missions, levels, and be able to take my time with the story parts I find important. That way if I find something I like, I can engage with it like I want to, instead of being pressed for time. I’m finding that my work stuff is preventing me from quickly getting where I want in my game stuff, and I don’t like it. I want to get stronger in Warframe, progress the story in Final Fantasy VII, but my job, and the real-life stuff keeps getting in the way of that goal. I want to do Arbitrations and the Steel Path, which entails me working up my Warframes and my weapons, increasing my Mastery Ranks, but these calls keep coming in, or I keep getting pulled away from my desktop to put out some fire at home. I’m this close from where “it” happens in FFVII, I haven’t had the time to sit down and get through the Forgotten Capital since Monday. The house has needed cleaned, a cat tower needed built, I drove around after work to de-stress myself from work, volume exploded because Reasons, there’s always something. FFVII is one of the biggest holes in my résumé, it’s been out nearly 30 years, Final Fantasy is one of my favorite series, yet I’ve never finished FFVII. I’m trying to change that, knock out as much as I can in said playthrough. And yet, I’ve been playing it off and on all summer and still not to “it”. Or with Warframe, I am two maps from unlocking the Steel Path, problem is, they’re both way above the level of enemies I can handle even on my best loadouts. I’m short on time to Forma, to farm mods for builds I want to come up with, so I try to sneak some grinding in early in my work day, then work happens and I can’t do that. One thing the lack of quick progress has helped with though, is appreciating the little bits of progress I get to make in the couple hours of free time I have during the evenings. I can tell the difference in strength Cloud and company are at when I start a session and when I end. I can appreciate that I’ve pushed the Boulder ahead a little bit further between each save point and run back to Fort Condor to babysit The Big Egg. I’m starting to appreciate how my weapons are ramping up the more ranks I earn and re-earn when I Forma them and stick my mods, and more mods on them. Seeing a cloud of critical hits when I dive into a group of enemies as I build up my Braton Prime or AX-52 feels nice, makes me appreciate just how much work it was to get here from there, and how much more I have to go to get to the next plateau. I’m not a patient person at all, but, I’ve had to learn how to have some patience over the past few years, even more so now with work being what it is. If it was up to me, I’d have already gotten those mods, those weapon parts, be through the Steel Path, and onto the next white whale. Or, I’d be staring down Sephiroth at the end of the game by now, but real life decided that wasn’t the case. Because I find myself interested in the stories I’m playing through, seeing these areas in FFVII I didn’t know existed, or learning new quirks and tricks with my loadouts. I didn’t realize Rocket Town was a more literal name than I’d thought it was, I didn’t know how much I’d hem and haw over how to decorate my Orbiter, I didn’t realize I enjoyed fixing up the house as much as I do, lots of things that have nothing to do with my games. I’m more excited about maybe putting gym mats down in my garage this fall than I am for Grand Theft Auto VI, more intrigued by maybe moving my dresser to my closet now that it’s cleaned out. A part of me would love nothing more than to have so little on my schedule that I could play games all I want, but another part of me knows that I’ll just be bored out of my mind. That little bit of time to progress is the metaphorical carrot on a stick for me to chase, that want to be at the mountaintop is what makes me appreciate every step closer to getting there. I won’t appreciate it in the same way without the tedious nonsense to get there, that even when my game is tedious nonsense at the moment, it’s still in service of a larger goal. Because if I just snap my fingers and I’m there, where’s the satisfaction in getting there in the first place? Those couple hours a night almost make me happier than having a whole day to do nothing but play games, more happy than when I’m basically minding the store on a Saturday evening or a Sunday. I can make progress, see my numbers go up, my little guys slowly make progress towards the end of the story, and it’s almost like my reward for surviving the day. It isn’t me wasting my whole day like I’ve done many a time before. I wasted an entire Sunday a few months ago rebuilding my base in Dune Awakening after I messed up moving it, and it got eaten. It was 10am one minute and well after 4pm the next. Where did my day go? I’m still not sure. I don’t have the kind of time I used to, and while I don’t like it, it does mean that I appreciate the time I do get more. It makes that little bit of progress feel like I’m getting somewhere, getting something done instead of staring at a phone screen. I’m still way behind the curve in Warframe, but I’m getting closer to being a more useful teammate. I’m slowly chipping away at FFVII, I’m already nearly 30 years behind, who cares if I’m not to and through Remake and Rebirth by the time Revelation comes out? I’ll finish the original, then the remakes, and get there when I get there. Patience is not something I have a lot of, but is something I’m trying to learn. I can’t build Rome in a day, nor can I burn through something that takes weeks if not months of work to build, or hours and hours to get the story of. It may only be a couple hours per night at best, but I am getting to where I want to be, the Steel Path, the Northern Crater, it’s slow, but it’s getting there. If I get the occasional opportunity to pour hours and hours in, I’ll take it, but any progress is better than no progress.